I love playing pranks on small children. I’ve always said if you can’t trick a kid or dog to make yourself feel better about yourself then who can you trick? I feel terrible saying this but sometimes when I’m down on my luck, I have to find something to kill the pain. Before you start to hate me let me explain.
I don’t have any kids. It’s incredibly ironic to me that the main thing I’ve succeeded at in life is something that you don’t do. Nice Bardin, you succeeded at doing nothing. Take a bow exit stage left.
With that being said I am an incredibly active uncle or funcle as I’ve been called by a few. I have at least 30 nieces and nephews ( I lose count after that) and 3 great nieces and nephews. It’s quite a crew. I do sometimes miss the old days when we had whole beef tenderloin for Christmas, now we eat “whole beef” brisket. I vote every year to make it where the adults get filet and give whatever to the kids. I get vetoed every year.
I have a great-niece that is the most incredible little three year old you could ever know. It’s upsetting to me because she can command a room better than I can. Sometimes I may get a little jealous. Then I remember that she has way less experience doing life than I do, and I can trick her in small ways to make me feel better. Bingo!!!!!
I pretty much have her locked on calling me king Bardin. It was a process; I began by calling her Princess Sophia, after her favorite cartoon character. Now, she calls me King Bardin, and doesn’t even realize I don’t call her Princess Sophia anymore. 1-0 Bardin…
Many in her other family are huge ole miss fans. My favorite thing to do as soon she could talk was start telling her to say “Hail State” over and over and preferably on camera. In Mississippi, families have broken apart over less; thankfully, we are all much more resilient than that. 2-0. I’m feeling pretty good.
One night at a ball game, Princess Sophia kept coming up to me and fake giving me snickers. Everyone laughed with her and at me. She’s 3, and I was hungry. This could not stand.
My best course of action was to go buy a bag of M&M’s. I ate a few (I don’t even like M&M’s).Then I gave her two, and off to play she went. I waited until the end of the game, and I made my move. I tell her I’m leaving, and ask her if she wants my candy. She says yes (fell for it!), and I take the bag and dump it out right by her hand. She was shocked, her grandfather was shocked. 3-0!!! For….The…Win…
I know it sounds bad, but at least, I don't have any kids.
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