I’m on tinder there I said it. Honestly I thought it would make me feel better. It didn’t. I still feel like a creep.
My problem is not only do I feel like a creep; I also feel like a weirdo. Then again, I may be a genius and have figured out to how to beat the whole Tinder game.
I’m probably the only dude ever who has gotten a warning from Tinder saying I am swiping left too many times. I was just sitting there mostly swiping left one day and boom. I get this message, and my whole approach to this “dating community” changed, honestly, not in a healthy way.
What I read when Tinder says I’m swiping left too much is, “Bardin your grip on reality is failing, you’re not the catch your mother said you were. Start swiping right on uglier women or be alone forever.” Once I get this message, I am thrown-off badly, but I noticed that in the top middle of my screen is the number that shows how many people have swiped right on me that I haven’t swiped right on them. I like that number right there. My eyes keep being drawn to it. It’s seems so simple. This number can’t argue back. This number only gets bigger which means more people want me than I want. This is a very interesting development.
Think about it. People use Tinder to meet, chat, and maybe meet up with people that are complete strangers. They do this to receive validation from people that do not really care about them. I do this to receive validation from people that do not really care about me (hmmm, nope still doesn’t feel any better).
Back when I was using and selling drugs I loved to cut the middleman. It meant I could get mine for cheaper. I now do the same thing on Tinder. I never have to swipe right, never have to send an incredibly awkward first hello text. I simply continue swiping left and then every girl that swipes right on me will make my number go up. I am constantly liking myself a little bit more and have invested nothing. Einstein let us know that when genius looks in the mirror at crazy, they often look a lot alike.
So my worth is based on a number that comes from an app full of thirsty girls or men, who
run the cyber division of a Russian crime syndicate? Add to this, that I think this makes me a genius? My mind has completely turned against me, but at least I still don’t have any kids (there, now I feel better).
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